and a baby makes three
by incense-whiskers
Summary: she'll make it right/robin screams behind the curtain/on making your own family
1. Harley

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own the canon, I merely enjoy it._

_**Starring:** Harley Quinn_

_**Author's Note:** It's difficult to tell if she's a real villain or not, but she has a sliver of sanity in the scene between her and Batgirl when they're fighting over Robin/Joker Jr._

_**Summary:** She was elbows deep into her bazooka, a quiet distraction to the screaming that was occurring beyond that blue curtain._

_**Rating: K**_

* * *

The table was riddled with nuts and bolts, wrenches and screwdrivers and a half-empty can of WD-40. She was elbows deep into her bazooka, fiddling with the wiring, cleaning out the gunk that got in there somehow while the babies slept underneath the table. The snapping of sparks and quiet grunts and hyenic snuffles were all a quiet distraction to the screaming that was occurring beyond that blue curtain. The Bird Boy had been screaming for hours now, and a small slip of a frown had settled on her face.

Harley was not meant for frowning.

Jerking her hand out of the bazooka's intestines, she quickly slapped another bandage on it and then went back to work. Her concentration was slipping on and off, concentration that she had to fight to have in the first place. She still remembers her old job as a shrink back at Arkham and she knows that whatever is going on beyond that curtain, she can make it right. Because they'll be a family, a real family and then everything will be fine.

She thinks of ammunition and super egos and what to feed the babies for dinner and tries very hard not to look at the junior sized Joker themed outfit sitting on the kitchen table and the knot that is slowly tightening in the middle of her belly.


	2. Joker

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own the canon, I merely enjoy it._

_**Starring: **Joker_

_**Author's Note:** For _**SincerelyMNM**_ who so politely asked for more._

_

* * *

_

Joker stands in front of the table and watches the boy.

The suit that Harley had painstakingly put together fit squarely on him, socks pulled smartly up to his knees (_no more street-light coloured tights)_, the bow tie hanging limply around his neck (_a noose to strangle what is left of the Bird out of him)_ and the empty smile echoes through the room. But it's not quite right, he thinks.

Motioning for the boy to come over, the small chin is tilted up _(the same chin that took so many punching gags to the face) _and gently, more gently then he has ever touched Harley Quinn, he spreads his greasepaint dipped fingers across the small face _(no more grins underneath domino masks)_ and spreads the green lipstick across the plump lips.

Almost. Not quite. Turning around he fiddles with the counter top before twirling around and pinning an acid-filled flower to his breast pocket and cackling _(no more batarangs for you sonny-Jim!). _And then he steps back and watches his creation, God of his universe. Lord of his kingdom. Softly he calls for his marionette and she hesitantly steps through the curtain, a smudge of grease staining her white face and then stares at his creation, his magnum opus with wide eyes.

"_Oh Mistah J, he's beautiful."_

The Joker laughs long and loud.


	3. Robin

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own the canon, I merely enjoy it._

_**Starring: **Robin_

_**Author's Note:** For _**SincerelyMNM**_ who so politely asked for more._

* * *

_ he wants, he wants, he wants..._

"Want what?" the Joker asked, curious. He turns from his tools, eyes drawn together.

Everything, Robin whispers in his mind. Freedom. Hot chocolate. Safety. The Joker looks contemplative as the boy thrashes and screams.

_Why isn't he here, why hasn't he found me, why why why why why_

"Y'know, you're holding up a lot better then I expected. Why I bet even Batman wouldn't have lasted as long as you," Joker says nonchalantly. The boy perks up at the thought of safety, comfort. "But I'm confused. Perhaps you can help an old man out. Why do you want to go back out to that -" the man waves his hand around, and Robin strains to look, to see. "When Harley and I have it right here?"

_Because you're murderers and theives and I have to protect, protect, protect._

"But who's protecting you now?" the Joker whispers, breath soft against his ear, fingers sharp against his neck.

* * *

_In the morning, Joker tenderly paints him white and green and Harley beams at him as she hands him a mug of hot chocolate._


End file.
